I found it rather ironic
that as I sat down to write this second post about singleness, Benri Dymet’s
daily 10-minute broadcast “A Different Perspective” came on. The topic for
this particular programme was on Singleness.
Mr. Dymet took his Bible text from 1 Corinthians 7; Paul teaching on the
gift of marriage. Paul believed he was
called to singleness but understood that not all people were called to live as
he did.
Writing about singleness
is difficult for me, because I have so many memories, thoughts and feelings
revolving in my mind, like horses on a merry-go-round. Which thought do I expound on? Where do I start?
My life was forever
changed 14th November 1971. I bet you’re
wondering how I can remember that date. Well, it was the Sunday before my 13th
birthday, which was 19th November.
On that Sunday, I had the most amazing experience with Jesus.
The Methodist church youth
group I was involved with had gone to a small church in Kentucky to perform the
Christian cantata*, “Tell It Like It Is.” The youth group consisted of about 30 young
people whose ages were between 12 to 19 years old.
The cantata, or folk
musical, was comprised of several songs with speaking parts to transition from
one song to the next. The last song of
the performance was “Pass It On.”**
All the lights in the
church were off. The music started.
“It only takes a spark to get a fire going…” the choir softly sang
the first words of the song.
A match scratched against
the cardboard box, and the light from that single flame broke the darkness. Liz, the girl next to me, who had struck the
match, lit her candle.
“And soon all those around can warm up in it’s glowing…”
Liz's candle touched my candle, and
the wick took the flame. I leaned over
and offered the flame to the person in the front row of the audience, who lit
her candle, then passed it on.
“That’s how it is with God’s love, once you’ve experienced it. You spread His love to everyone; you want to pass it on.”
As the flames passed from
person to person, a peaceful Presence started in the back of the church, then flowed forward. It seemed like a cloud filled the room with holy
reverence and love. I can remember
telling people later, it was as if Jesus had come into the room, walked down
the aisle, touching each person along the way.
As I sat there, I realised
I had tears flowing down my cheeks. I
wasn’t sad or upset and couldn’t understand the tears. I purposely dried them, and stopped the flow. I prayed, “God, if that is You, make me
cry.” The flood-gates opened, and there
was no stopping the tears or the adoration from my heart.
“You want to go up to the alter?” Liz said,
who was also in tears
“Yes.” I sobbed. It seemed the obvious thing to do. All around us people were crying, praying and going
up to the alter. The pastor was busy, going
from one person to the next. As he kneeled
beside me, all I could do was say, “I love you Jesus.” He said a short prayer with me and moved to the
next person.
After I left the kneeling rail,
I went and found my brother and gave him a hug.
From that day onward, I knew
that Jesus was real, that His Presence had touched me. I was five days away from being 13 years old.
I wanted to live my life to honour Him. It
was the beginning of a “single” life. I wanted
Jesus to shine through my life. It was a
life-style decision.
As the years rolled by, it
was because I had made that decision many other decisions I made were affected.
I didn’t want to get married just
because:
·
I simply wanted to get married.
·
I wanted to have sex.
·
I wanted to have children. And I
wasn’t going to have children if I wasn’t married.
·
“Everyone” else was getting married.
·
I knew it would make my parents feel happier if I was.
·
I wanted someone else to take care of me.
The Bible contains many
promises. One of them is: “Delight
yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of
your heart. Commit your way to the Lord
[roll and repose each care of your load on Him]: trust (lean on, rely on, and
be confident ) also in Him and will bring it to pass.” Psalm 37: 4-5
Amplified version
Although I desired to be
married and have a family, I also had other desires. In my late teens-early twenties I set three
goals I wanted to accomplish before I got married.
1) I wanted to live in my own apartment/flat and
have the experience of dealing with rent, utility bills, owning and maintaining
a car.
2) I wanted
to write a book.
3) I wanted
to visit England. I was aware that
sometimes people get married and never travel. So, for me, seeing the United Kingdom was a
high priority.
I did experience all three
of those things before I got married. Although
accomplishing those things were important to me, there were also times the desire to be married was so strong and I was so lonely it
hurt physically. There were days of
anger and frustration, (It isn’t fair!!!). Through the days of self-pity, (What’s wrong
with me?) and grieving (It is too late for me to bear my own children), it was
those other desires that kept pulling me out of myself.
Most of all, I had hope, because
I knew (and still know) that Jesus is my constant companion for all my days.
Serving Jesus, Author of our faith,
“Lady Helene”
*a
piece of music for singers and instruments that usually has several parts
(called movements) and often has a religious subject
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